Is it a Crisis of (Self) Confidence?
As we are forced to navigate torrents of uncertainty, we find ourselves questioning everything from government policies to medical advice, from our collective future to our individual rights.
For those who are struggling with the new norm of ambiguity and steering through unfamiliar terrain, it’s easy to lose perspective. Alone with our own thoughts over extended periods of time, it’s understandable that we start questioning ourselves and our ability to cope.
I’m not good enough. I’m scared of failing. I can’t decide. I can’t do this…
All common underlying themes in a series of coaching conversations I have had with clients over the past weeks.
Left unchecked, a murmur of doubt can spiral into fear and swiftly manifest in shaken confidence. Any threat can trigger a short-term fear response. Fear is your brain hitting its panic button, a primal instinct that is essential for survival. However, prolonged states of fear can push us into deeper states of anxiety and exhaustion. Beginning to sound familiar?
HOW TO REMAIN SELF-ASSURED AMIDST A PERSONAL CRISIS OF CONFIDENCE:
1. ACKNOWLEDGE
Acknowledging the source of your doubts will give you power over them. I recall a line from the Good Wife, when lawyer Alicia Florrick confessed ‘I’m having a crisis of confidence and it's taking up all my time.’ Acknowledgement can be cathartic. It’s okay to not feel okay. Let’s just make sure it doesn’t take up all your time.
2. FIND A CIRCUIT BREAKER
When those negative thoughts start echoing in your mind and overwhelm threatens to take hold, shift your energy into something you love doing, whatever that looks like at this time. Do more of what makes you feel good; walk, dance, cook, listen to music or talk to a friend. Finding your flow will calm the voice of doubt that can so easily rock your inner world.
3. SELF VALIDATION
In a pre-lockdown era of multiple social interactions, we were accustomed to receiving external validation from teachers, from managers, co-workers and friends. Feelings of self-worth can plummet in the absence of external support networks. A sense of achieving personal goals can go a long way in providing internal validation through pride and self-satisfaction.
4. FROM SMART TO SAFE
In a world that values and rewards achievement, we are mostly familiar with stretching ourselves towards linear SMART – Specific. Measurable. Achievable. Relevant. Time Bound - goals. These hold us to account though can be exasperating if not achieved. Avoid the frustration at this time and adapt to SAFE - Simple. Attainable. Forgiving. Easy – goals. Accomplish and celebrate small steps to boost your confidence. The feeling of fulfilment will drive you to do more – remember to be kind to yourself and keep it manageable.
5. CHART YOUR PROGRESS
Author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, Susan Jeffers advocates a daily check on a pain to power continuum, 0 being ultimate fear and 100 being totally confident. Pin a chart to your wall as a reminder of where you want to be. Each day look at the chart and ask, ‘do I see myself in the same place or have I moved.’ Allow for occasional bad days but overall you want to know that you are moving along the continuum towards personal power.
Pushing through the fear is ultimately easier than living with a feeling of helplessness. Keep moving, your future self will thank you.
If you find yourself stuck in a perpetual state of anxiety, reach out for a complimentary 15-minute coaching pre-session.
